TANTRA: MORE CONNECTION (AND SEX) THANKS TO AN ANCIENT INDIAN PHILOSOPHY

Tantra is an ancient Indian philosophy that intrigues many people. There is a stigma attached to tantra that this practice is purely about sex, but nothing could be further from the truth! Basically, tantra is about connection and working with your energy. Read all about the history of tantra and how you can apply it yourself. In everyday life, but also in terms of your sexuality...

What is tantra?

Of course sexuality is a part of tantra. But the most important thing is connection, growth and attention. Indeed, in Sanskrit, the word is a compound of the terms expansion and liberation. Another meaning is 'intertwined with each other', as well as 'tool or practice to expand consciousness'.

Attention and awareness

Tantra is about conscious attention to everything around you, experiencing life fully with all your senses. This can be about eating and being able to take more enjoyment moments, but also being able to accept your circumstances and thoughts and not condemn them. Even if they are not so pleasant. The idea is that this way there is more room for personal growth.

There are plenty of ways to create more awareness. Taking a break and dwelling on what you are experiencing is something you can do anytime, anywhere. With breathing exercises you can create more body awareness. For instance, do a body scan, whether or not accompanied by a YouTube video.

Energy

Everything is energy. You want to be able to work with it. In other words, you want to be able to experience it and have control over it and understanding of it. This is a thought we not only see in tantric practice, but also in other spiritual and mystical activities and thoughts. Meditation and spiritual cleansing, for example. You can also work with manifestations, visualisations and mantras to channel energy.

Connection

A third important element is connecting with yourself, other people and the world around you. This connection can be physical and sexual, but also spiritual.

Do you want to feel more connected? You can consciously seek connections with people and apply some tantric methods. Eye contact is a very low-key example. With a love partner, you can practise paying attention to each other and each other's bodies. Touch each other consciously and slowly or give a massage - without immediately using this as foreplay. Meditating and breathing together is also a good way to synchronise your energies and become one together. On your own, by the way, you can also do tantric exercises. Touch yourself and experience what this does to you. This way, you get to know your body and needs better.

Besides the physical element, verbal communication is also an excellent way to have more and better connections with others. Listen to your interlocutor attentively and without being distracted and give them space to express themselves. Share your own desires and feelings openly and honestly, with the best of intentions. This way, you will find that you experience more depth in your social relationships and get more space to be yourself and satisfy your desires.

The history of tantra

The roots of tantra are in India, where it emerged in the sixth century within Hinduism and Buddhism. Thousands of years before then, people in that region were already engaging in practices similar to it. It was only in the 20th century that tantra came to the West. That is where the practice's image went a bit wrong. The man who brought it to America is to blame for this. For this reason, there are now multiple currents of tantra. The Western sexualised variant is referred to as the Neo-Tantra movement. Unfortunately, today we see that tantra workshops and gurus targeting Westerners almost always revolve around sex.

Sex and tantra: the practice

No doubt you are as yet titillated by the sexual component of tantra. Neo-tantra, in other words. So how can you have tantric sex yourself? Try these things in the bedroom:

Take your time

Slowing down automatically makes you more attentive. Hence, slowing down your pace is important in tantric sex. Take time for each other and take a break every now and then. Consciously explore each other's spots and don't rush towards orgasm. The longer you are intimate, the more you will feel connected to your love partner.

Skip the orgasm

Tantra is about the journey, not the final destination. So focus on everything you do before orgasm - and then consciously skip that orgasm. That way, it's all about enjoying all the sensations in your body. You will find that thanks to practising tantra, orgasm is no longer a must for enjoying sex.

Communicate

As in classical tantra, it is important to communicate with each other. What do you like, what are your needs? Where are your limits and which ones do you want to explore? Also during sex, indicate when you like something and want to perform a certain action for longer. That way, you will get into the flow together! Probably needless to say, but during tantric sex, it is very important that you and your partner feel safe and completely at ease. Respect, consent and indicating your boundaries are key here. Talk about this at a quiet moment together, so that you can confidently go into your tantric sessions together.

Need more tips for better sex? Read this article on natural aphrodisiacs that can give your sex life an extra boost. And be sure to check out the erotica section of our shop!